


Fix You

by allofspace



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Smut, minor spock/kirk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-22
Updated: 2013-05-22
Packaged: 2017-12-12 16:39:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/813707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allofspace/pseuds/allofspace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>McCoy knows Jim is a ladies man and he's mostly gotten over it. So why does it bother him when he sees Kirk with a man? (Or a Vulcan to be exact).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fix You

**Author's Note:**

> I started this over a year ago and cringe at how my writing used to be. Sorry in advance. Let the angst and smut ensue?

"Who is that pointy-eared bastard?"  
"I don’t know, but I like him"

***

And the truth was, McCoy did like Spock at first. His ability to annoy Kirk was worth hearing all the talk about their great, destined friendship. McCoy wouldn't let himself be jealous of that. He knew he was Kirk's oldest and most loyal friend, and maybe Kirk wouldn't admit to that in so many words, but it was enough for McCoy. He was okay with admiring his best friend from afar, seeing him sleep around with all sorts of women on one-night stands. That was just Kirk. That’s just the way things are for a divorcee who’s in love with his straight best friend. McCoy gave up long ago on living in denial about that little fact and just learned to deal with it. He kept his feelings sealed inside himself. That way he couldn't get hurt, not really. Or so he thought.

It wasn't until after a fairly bad breakup between Uhura and Spock that circumstances changed quite a bit. It was a bit of a boring day, just gliding through hyperspace mostly. Things had felt a bit tense after the slightly public dispute between Uhura and Spock. The two were now only talking on the professional level and only as necessary. With nothing really to do, McCoy went looking for Kirk to see if he wanted to kill some time together. When he couldn't find Kirk in any of his usual places he started to ask around. Apparently Kirk was good at disappearing when he wanted to be. McCoy had basically given up by the time he heard strange noises coming from the supply closet he happened to be walking past. He stopped and raised his eyebrow at it. He was in a hallway that was unoccupied most of the time, as it didn't lead anywhere that another hall couldn't get you to faster. 

When he opened the door he found just about the very last thing he expected to find there. Kirk. And it wasn't so much seeing Kirk that was surprising as it was seeing who he was clinging onto. He had opened the door to see Kirk with his arms around Spock, tongues deep in each other’s mouths, and Spock gripping Kirk's hips. Kirk ripped away when the door was opened and had let go of Spock, but the pointy-eared bastard still had his hands on Kirk. 

"Bones..." said Kirk, with puffy, red lips. 

"Jim," croaked Bones in a broken voice that betrayed more than he would have liked. 

"Dr. McCoy," nodded Spock. 

McCoy and Kirk had been staring at each other and now both turned to look at Spock. McCoy coughed awkwardly then simply turned and walked away. He didn't hear Kirk hit the back of his head to the wall and utter "Bones" under his breath nor would he have done anything about it if he had.

McCoy went back to his room and locked the door. He laid on his back and stared at the ceiling, time moving fast and slow at the same time. There were too many thoughts in his head and too many feelings floating inside him. He needed to sort them out before he could even function again. There may or may not have been knocks at his door but he didn't know the difference right now. Surely if there was a medical emergency the other staff on hand today could manage it. He had a moment of enough clear thinking to call the medical bay and let them know he wouldn't be available for the rest of the day. Then he continued to stare at the ceiling. What was it he felt most angry about? Was it anger? He felt a bit queasy, like he'd been punched in the stomach. He'd seen Kirk sleep around with plenty of women. What made this so different? He'd never felt this horrible before. He used to mostly feel a pang in his heart that made him cringe until he learned to control it. But it wasn't a woman this time, it was a man. Well, a Vulcan to be more specific. Spock of all people. There was just too much he couldn't understand. For years, the only thing that kept McCoy sane was the thought that Kirk was straight and had thoughts of women only. He would never let himself imagine that Kirk could be attracted to another man, even for an instant. 

So... Kirk was his straight best friend with gay tendencies? McCoy didn't even consider himself gay. He didn't have eyes for other men, or other women. He mostly just had eyes for Kirk. The way he thought of it was this: his divorce and ex wife ruined him so thoroughly and broke his heart beyond repair, and it now only had room for one person. That person happened to be Kirk, who was also the only thing that could bring McCoy to feel almost whole again. Sometimes he even forgot how broken he truly was. And that was the problem. The one thing that kept McCoy feeling like Kirk was some truly unattainable entity was now gone. The painful feeling that maybe he was just not good enough to be loved couldn't be kept away. A nagging sensation that told him he would never be enough. Spock was apparently good enough. The pointy-eared bastard who had a destined relationship with Kirk. It all made sense now. Maybe this was the way they were destined to be, not just as friends. McCoy had never stood a chance against destiny. The damned universe was content with keeping him numbingly unhappy. At least McCoy had accepted this, but he was tired of the pity party he was having for himself, locked up in his room with just his thoughts. He was getting sick of himself. The only question on his mind now: what next?

While McCoy’s plan consisted of continuing life as normal and pretending nothing had happened while trying to avoid Kirk when it was possible, Jim apparently had other plans. Kirk was a drug that McCoy was trying to quit. McCoy told himself he had to learn to get on with life without depending on Kirk to be the only thing to make him feel real and less numb. Kirk was a stubborn man though, and he did anything but approve of McCoy’s mental plan to avoid him. Jim paged him throughout the day: sometimes McCoy would go, sometimes he’d send someone from his staff instead. When McCoy did go, he couldn’t look Kirk in the eyes. He knew he was betraying his “nothing happened” persona, but it was a lot harder seeing Kirk than he thought it would be. A week passed of the Captain’s persistent paging and calling and making up excuses for the doctor being needed in various parts of the ship. McCoy gave in to the calls less and less and didn’t understand what Kirk was playing at. It’s not like Kirk had tried to talk to him about what had happened; it was like he was testing McCoy to see where they stood. And McCoy didn’t understand it at all. 

By the end of the torturous week he’d started to get annoyed with Kirk’s stubbornness. Couldn’t he just let him be miserable in peace? McCoy was in his room looking through the small amount of clutter on his desk for some document he didn’t much care to actually find. There was knocking at his door and he yelled for whoever it was to enter and continued to pretend to be concerned about of the whereabouts of the document. 

“Bones,” came a painfully familiar voice. McCoy really hadn’t thought about the possibility of it being Kirk. He hadn’t actually attempted talking to him alone the whole week. “We need to talk,” Kirk’s voice suddenly sounded more serious with an edge to it. McCoy turned around, quickly glanced at Kirk’s knitted eyebrows then just as quickly looked anywhere but those worried eyes on his friend’s face. 

Kirk shut the door and McCoy didn’t know how stubborn Kirk was feeling so he decided to ask, “Talk about what?” instead of waiting for Kirk to decide how long they could stand in awkward silence. 

“I can’t even believe you,” Kirk started suddenly using his arms to articulate his speech and started pacing back and forth on the small area of floor. “How long have we been friends, Bones? I can’t believe you’re going to let a little thing like this get in the way. I actually can’t believe this is a problem for you at all, you’re the noble one who’s always talking about fairness...”

McCoy had become increasingly confused throughout this whole rant of Kirk’s. It was his turn to have knitted eyebrows and now he couldn’t help but look at Kirk, watching him pace, trying to figure what the hell was going on. 

“My God, man,” burst out McCoy somewhere in the middle of more of Kirk’s nonsense. That, at least, made Kirk stop pacing. 

“You haven’t been able to look me in the eye all week, Bones,” Kirk sounded more hurt now than angry. “I can’t help that I’m gay.”

McCoy froze, eyes wide open, suddenly realizing what Kirk was actually upset about. “Wait...” McCoy started, shaking his head, trying to wrap his head around the idea. “You think… you think that I hate you or something because you’re gay?”

Kirk’s eyes narrowed, “What else am I supposed to think, Bones?”

“Well.. I’m not sure, but that would um… be a bit hypocritical of me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

McCoy couldn’t believe what he was about to say, but he’d had enough of burying feelings that ate away at his insides. “I haven’t been avoiding you because you’re gay, you idiot, I’ve been… jealous. Yeah, I guess that’s the shortest explanation. I’ve sort of been in love with you for a while now.” A huge weight felt lifted from McCoy. Knowing his friend at least wouldn’t be disgusted by his confession made it a bit easier. Until he remembered how the whole thing started. “But um… I’m happy for you and Spock. I mean, destiny and all that, I guess it’s true, right?” McCoy hazarded a glance at Jim, unsure of what he would see on his face. Kirk’s eyes were wide but soft and his mouth was slightly parted and Leonard could swear he could see the gear’s turning in his head. He didn’t have anything else to say so he waited until he eventually raised an eyebrow at Kirk, getting a bit annoyed. “Jim…” grunted McCoy as he rolled his eyes. 

“I, uh…” Kirk finally seemed to be jolted from his trance. “I’m not with Spock. That was just a thing,” Jim tried to explain unsuccessfully. “He was mad about Uhura and… I mean, they’re back together now. And we’re just friends. Destiny never meant us to be more than that.” McCoy tried not to show how relieved he was to hear this. He wanted Jim to be happy, but something about that happiness coming from being with Spock made Leonard cringe. “Bones… I, uh, I love you too.”

McCoy’s eyes shot up to Kirk’s. Now it was his turn to look shocked. “You… you what?” 

And suddenly Kirk had all of his confidence back, full force. He was closing the distance between them slowly, “You heard me.” He had a smirk on his lips and Bones rolled his eyes and decided to wipe the ridiculous look of his face. He quickly wrapped one hand around the back of Kirk’s neck and the other around his waist and pulled him in for a kiss. It was awkward at first with too much teeth and force, but it was Kirk, and Bones wanted nothing more. They were both too eager and desperate and trying to do everything all at once and it was frantic and hot and wet and perfect. Eventually they calmed down and found a way to fit together perfectly. They stopped to breath heavily, foreheads pressed together. “I… I never thought,” gasped Kirk. “I mean you had a wife, and you have Jo.”

McCoy thought for a second. He moved his head up so he could look at Kirk, hands resting on his hips. “Yeah, well, your dalliances with every woman you’ve ever met didn’t exactly scream interested in men,” McCoy smirked and Kirk just grinned.

“Well… most of the time sex is sex, I’m not too picky about gender.”

McCoy felt a bit more serious. “Look Jim, I’m broken. Like you said… ex-wife, a kid, I’m a mess and you’re the only thing that’s held me together since I met you. I’m broken beyond repair, and I don’t expect you to want to get involved.”

“Oh please, Bones. Trust me… I can fix you.”

Kirk cut off any response McCoy might have come up with by sucking hungrily on his lips again. It was slower this time, and it was almost too much for Bones. Especially when Kirk started grinding his body against McCoy’s. McCoy moaned into Kirk’s mouth, as Kirk started to unzip McCoy’s pants.

“Jim. Bed,” McCoy demanded.

“Always the gentleman,” Kirk teased. McCoy responded by biting Kirk’s bottom lip and then soothing it with his tongue. They stumbled toward McCoy’s bed and Kirk fell heavily on top of McCoy. Jim straddled Leonard’s hips with his knees and braced his arms on either side of his head. They did an awkward shuffle-crawl up the bed to get in a better position before Kirk dipped down to kiss McCoy again. McCoy couldn’t stand being teased anymore and pulled Jim’s hips down as he pushed up his own to get some satisfying friction. Jim gasped into his mouth and then they grinded together in rhythm without needing McCoy to guide Jim’s hips. 

Jim finally remembered what he’d been trying to do before they’d moved onto the bed and he slipped his hand between them to undo both sets of zippers. They had to separate momentarily to shimmy out of their pants, but the new feeling was worth it. With more skin on skin and only cotton between their cocks, Leonard couldn’t bare to wait any longer. He flipped them over so that he was straddling Jim, to Jim’s surprise. 

“I like when you get controlling, Bones,” Jim panted and wiggled his eyebrows. McCoy smirked and half rolled his eyes before taking off his shirt and then Jim’s. He bent down and sucked once on each of Jim’s nipples and placed a kiss over Jim’s heart and more down his chest. His hands roamed up and down Jim’s side as Jim’s hands fisted in his hair. 

“Okay, okay, let’s do the slow appreciation thing some other time. Bones, touch me. Please,” Jim begged, and Leonard didn’t need any more convincing. He went back to kissing Jim’s mouth messily as he pulled down Jim’s boxers and then his own, just enough so that he could get a grip on both of their cocks and stroke them with the best effort he could. They didn’t need any special technique right now. They just needed friction and touch. A few minutes later, Jim nipped McCoy’s lip and then gasped into his mouth as he came between their stomachs. The sounds alone that came from Jim’s mouth would have finished McCoy but he as already coming from having Jim’s body writhing beneath him. McCoy collapsed onto his stomach beside Kirk and they lay quietly as their breathing slowed. Leonard turned his head to glance at Jim, who was smiling at him like a cat who got the cream. 

“I hate you,” Bones muttered, half into his pillow.

“I love you too, Bones,” Jim replied. Leonard fell asleep with the feeling that Kirk was watching him, and he was content.


End file.
